I miss bananas more than coffee.....

Though it has been a while since I last wrote one, my blogs have tended to start with a quote, and/or a link to a song, that fits my mood and the mood of the blog.

Today I start with a statement that no amount of presentience prior to these events could have come up with....

I miss bananas more than coffee! And if we want to extend that further it is probably a draw between coffee and alcohol, so I guess I also miss bananas more than alcohol, which to some people is probably, well, bananas.

Earlier this year I caught a virus. I felt rough, but I have felt worse. I took time off, slept, drank plenty of fluids, and rested. I done what you are supposed to do.

Running? Nope! Everybody knows the rule. Above the neck run, below the neck don't.
I didn't. I waited until I felt better, and then a day more after that, before going for a run.
It is entirely possible of course that was still too soon, just as it is entirely possible I stopped running too late.

It is also equally possible, and more probable that this would have happened regardless, particularly as all my exercise at this time was at very relaxed efforts. As my cardiologist said, sometimes you can get a virus that might only present externally with a headache, but could be wreaking havoc internally.

That virus damaged my heart.

There are many many elements that brought me from that initial virus and damage to this point. I could sit here and ask myself a million and one 'what ifs?' but they won't change where I am. I feel I have a good handle on when it happened, and I am confident that it is more down to pure bad luck than anything else.
Knowing any more than that does not help my situation going forward, which is where my focus now is.

My current situation.
Quite simply, my heart is damaged. The medical term is heart failure, though it does not mean that it stopping working is imminent. Rather it means that it is failing to work correctly.

My personal situation is that my LVEF (left ventricular ejection fraction) is in the 20-25% range. It should be over 50%.

I am still in AF, but medication means I am not bouncing from 50bpm to 150bpm+ like I was in the beginning of this. My RHR is in the 60s on a good day, the mid 80s on a bad day. My RHR before all of this started was typically 40bpm +/-.

My blood pressure tended towards the lower end naturally but the medication I am on is keeping this hovering just above 90/60. Until my body adapts and my BP starts to rise again I cannot have any more medication.

And longer term.....
Well that is very much a case of 'how long is a piece of string? From here anything is possible. The facts that I am comparatively young, am still scoring 0 on their risk scores despite my otherwise dodgy readings, and am otherwise healthy and robust are very strongly in my favour.

As is the family trait of stubbornness which runs as strongly through a Russell's genes as the Force does through a Skywalker's genes, though, ultimately no matter how stubborn I am there is the very real possibility that I could do literally everything 100% right, and it makes no difference.

There is a very slim chance that I will fully recover to where I was before all of this. There is a less slim chance that things could degrade. The vast likelihood is somewhere along the piece of string between those two points.

My gut says that I will be ok. I have never backed down from a fight, and will always back myself to the hilt. This situation will be no different; my body has done some wonderful things over the years; it is time for more of the same.

In the meantime though I am going to start coaching again. It will be free, but I am looking specifically for people looking to get the best out of themselves over the marathon distance, so if you are somebody motivated, resilient, and willing to work hard, please drop me a line for a chat.